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The
following essays are from the book Accepted! 50 Successful College Admission Essays
by Gen and Kelly Tanabe.
Elisa Tatiana Juárez
Miami, Florida
Based on her research in osteoporosis and gerontology,
Elisa has won awards in a number of competitions including
the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair
and the South Florida Science and Engineering Fair.
But each time she entered a competition, she noticed
that economically disadvantaged students were underrepresented.
She did something to change this. Working with the Miami
Museum of Science and Big Brothers Big Sisters, she
founded the Students and Teachers Advocating Research
Science (STARS) program to assist disadvantaged middle
school children. A graduate of Coral Reef Senior High,
Elisa has been recognized for her work and won both
the Hispanic Heritage Youth Award and the Target All-Around
Scholarship.
Birks & Barbie
Brown University
I am not a Barbie doll.
I came to that realization the day I discovered the
power of Birkenstocks. As we all know, Barbie is genetically
engineered by marketing professionals to wear stiletto
heels every day of her life, which makes it impossible
for her to even consider Birkenstocks. I, on the other
hand, have molded my Birkenstocks to my feet. To put
my feet into a pair of five-inch spikes would be criminal.
This whole concept is quite simple actually. Here let
me explain. Which of the "new and improved" Barbie dolls
stands up against all odds and wins international science
awards? Or walks through the streets of México
teaching children Bible stories? Or spends her Saturdays
in downtown Miami feeding homeless people? How many
times have you heard of Barbie advocating the rights
of women and minorities? Never, as far as I know.
When I was younger I never had a Barbie doll. There
was something about her that I just didn't like. Growing
up, I remember getting chemistry and biology kits as
gifts, not some plastic doll with long blonde hair and
beyond-perfect measurements. Now, don't get me wrong,
Barbie is a wonderful inspiration to many of us. She
teaches wonderful marketing skills, she stands for the
capitalism America is known for; whether or not that
is a good thing is up to you. Still, I was very disappointed
when I dissected a neighbor's Barbie one day and discovered
that there was nothing inside. She was empty, hollow,
uninteresting scientifically, and I soon lost interest.
I mentioned that Barbie does not wear Birkenstocks.
How would that help you learn more about me? When I
slip on a pair of Birks I feel invincible. I think it
has to do with the stories my mother told me growing
up. Protesting against the Vietnam War, wearing flowers
in her hair and fighting for peace, not war, all the
while sporting leather sandals. Those stories have been
an inspiration to me. She made me think of all the things
that I was capable of doing. She was the one who gave
me my first pair of Birks and planted in them was the
power of invincibility. To this day I wear my Birkenstocks
to everything I do that is non-conventional. I tend
to look at life outside the box, unlike Barbie, whose
imagination and very existence depends on the plastic
box that surrounds her. How boring can that be? Life
is to be experienced from all perspectives. No idea
is too crazy for me.
Never once in my life did I imagine that I would compete
one day against the best high school science projects
in the world. Through my perseverance, tenacity and
faith in myself, I was able to not only fulfill my dream,
but also to do more. Due to my success in science fairs
internationally, I began to sense that it was not fair
that other kids weren't given the same opportunities.
This motivated me to start a project involving middle
and elementary school age children from economically
disadvantaged backgrounds to come together and create
with exciting projects. The goal of this project is
to give kids confidence in science. So what if they
come from "disadvantaged" backgrounds? They should have
the same opportunities as others. The group of kids
I am working with now is small, but they are so excited
about science and research. Just the other day, one
of my girls came up to me and said, "I don't really
like science, my thing is literature and English, but
these workshops have given me the opportunity to explore
and have fun learning about science. Now I actually
like it." I have helped someone discover that science
isn't just something that crazy guys in white lab coats
do. Science is new, always changing and open to anyone
who is passionate and motivated to find out why.
When I look around at the girls in my school, I wonder
which girls spent a lot of time with Barbie growing
up. Maybe they're the ones more concerned with what
they look like on the outside and not on the inside.
The ones who worry more about who will take them to
prom than whether they will graduate from high school.
The ones who worry about dating the guy who drives the
newest model of car, when right down the street young
kids are worrying about where they'll get their next
meal. Don't get me wrong; I am not bitter, or even envious.
I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be the girl who
always wears those not very attractive sandals. I am
proud to try to be that invincible revolutionary girl
who wears her Birks.
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Mark R. Eadie
Rensselaer, New York
Mark was born with a desire to build, whether it
was with his older brother's Legos or with hammer and
nails. He has worked with his family to hand craft their
own summer home and with his college classmates to build
a national championship-winning solar car. At Columbia
High School, Mark was an Eagle Scout, leader in his
church and involved in Boys State and Model Congress.
Through his essay, he says he wanted to give "an honest
look at my life, what I've done and what I've had to
deal with to do these things."
Building
University of Michigan
The week before my second birthday was my introduction
to the world of Legos. My mother was busily getting
ready for Christmas and needed to keep me occupied so
she let me play with my 12-year-old brother's Legos.
Although she did not think I would be interested, I
sat on the carpet creating airplanes, cars and rocket
ships for nine hours. That was the beginning of my love
affair with engineering, design and building.
Soon clocks, motors, even new bicycles were not safe
from my screwdriver or pliers, much to the consternation
of my mother. My dad, a builder by avocation, was thrilled
when I asked to help him and demanded an explanation
of how everything worked as we repaired the house and
added on to our summer camp. My father taught me many
skills, how to build walls, plumb a bathroom, wire a
house, lay hardwood floors, install windows and add
cedar siding. Using many power tools and saws was fun,
but the care I learned in planning and executing each
step for highest quality was especially important.
In addition, I have an insatiable hunger for knowledge.
When young, I read the World Book Encyclopedia and Encyclopedia
Britannica as other kids read comic books and the backs
of cereal boxes. No matter how much I learned I sought
to know more. I wanted to understand the way things
work more than I wanted the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtle action figure. For my ninth birthday, my grandmother
gave me a subscription to Discover magazine. I read
every issue cover-to-cover, reading past bedtime to
learn about fly-wheel engines, archaeological digs in
China and the moons of Jupiter. I can never thank my
"Grandmommy" enough for adding fuel to my fire for learning.
My father's and my latest project, due to our shared
love of astronomy, was building a five-foot-long, six-inch
diameter reflecting telescope with a Dobsonian mount.
It was here I first really appreciated my dad's demand
for perfection. After days of work, the result was incredible.
The starry view is breathtaking it adds so much
to my excitement as I read Steven Hawking's and others'
views on cosmology.
As the Senior Patrol Leader in my Boy Scout Troop,
I have experienced the importance of teaching and inspiring
younger scouts so they will develop the skills and values
that I have learned. As an Eagle Scout, I had to design,
organize and direct the troop in completing a major
project. Utilizing the knowledge gained through working
with my father and the communication skills developed
through leadership in Boy Scouting and Presbyterian
youth work, we extended the hiking trail system in our
community by building a 20-foot by 4-foot bridge across
a stream near the Hudson River. Not only is there satisfaction
in seeing the completed bridge, there is the more important
realization that my leadership is helping younger scouts
develop into responsible, community-involved citizens.
I'm very proud of them.
My church leadership role, as moderator of the Presbyterian
Youth Connection Council for eight states, has allowed
me to share my hope for the future, faith and vision
with thousands in my generation and with adults across
the Northeast.
Because of a baseball accident at age 10, the nerve
in my right ear is dead, leaving me with only monaural
hearing. Surgery did not work, and conventional hearing
aids can't help people who are totally deaf in one ear.
Fortunately, creative innovation combined with technological
development has provided a "cutting edge" solution.
A doctor in Connecticut has developed a trans-cranial
hearing aid the sound produced by the aid is transmitted
so powerfully that it is conducted through the skull
to the nerves in the good ear, on the opposite side
of my head. With this, I can hear stereophonically as
my brain interprets the second set of sound as though
it was coming through my right ear.
As the beneficiary of one man's creative skills, I
know what engineering can accomplish. The ability to
examine a problem like unilateral hearing loss, create
a new vision and solve the problem for people is the
inspiration for my applying to Michigan's Engineering
School. My faith and commitment to serve people motivates
this drive. I want to use my insatiable desire to learn
and create in order to advance technology for the benefit
of others. The field of engineering is leading our society
into more exciting developments than ever before, and
I seek to use my leadership skills within this arena.
My vision is that aerospace engineering will allow
humans not only to exceed the physical boundaries of
our planet's limits but to grow intellectually beyond
the constraints of terrestrial experience. In addition
to all the practical earthly benefits that come from
aerospace engineering, like biomedical, mechanical and
materials breakthroughs, the philosophical and emotional
benefits to humankind are extremely significant.
I want to attend the University of Michigan for love
of engineering, for the challenge of it and to prepare
myself to make a greater contribution to our society.
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Daniel
Heras
Los Angeles, California
When you think of East Los Angeles, you probably
don't think of surfing. But one student does. Daniel
bucked convention to become one of the few in his community
to take to the ocean, the topic of his essay. At Woodrow
Wilson High School, he was student body president, captain
of the baseball team and president of the science club.
Daniel wrote this essay to counter critics who said
that college would not be an option for him. "There
was that one little voice that told me to keep trying
and to never give up," he says.
Surf's Up! In East LA?
U.C. Berkeley
In my family everyone grows up playing soccer. It is
not a question. You just do it. Although I played soccer,
it was not the same for me. Dashing back and forth on
a 120-yard field, kicking a ball around and not being
able to use your hands was not my idea of living. It
was not until about three years ago when I found myself
slipping off a seven-foot-long piece of fiberglass and
Styrofoam, landing head first into the deep blue sea
when it slapped me right in the face. Surfing was for
me! It was not just my image of living life, but living
life on the edge.
Riding waves was not an easy thing to do, and I mean
that in two ways. First, surfing is a difficult task,
period. Just the laborious thought of being a surfer
alone was inconceivable. I had never in my life seen
a surfer except on TV. None of my friends surfed, and
it was unheard of in East LA to see a Hispanic surfer.
At first I never told anyone that I had been surfing.
I kept it to myself, though it was very hard to hide
a seven-foot-long board in my sock drawer. My friends
would come over to my house and say, "What the heck
is that?" Of course, I had to tell them even though
I knew how they would react. They would just laugh and
say, "You ain't no surfer, you're a wannabe." I would
stay quiet. Some nights while lying in bed, I would
think: Was this just a phase? Was I trying to be someone
that I really was not? Was I really a "wannabe"?
At times failure would make me think that surfing would
just be a small chapter in my life. I remembered the
closing days of summer a few years ago. I got up early
that morning to get ready for my short 20-minute trip
to Venice Beach. Something seemed different that morning.
I felt bold, I felt confident and I was immortal. (Not
really.) The day was perfect. I did it, the first wave
I saw and was up and in it. I cannot say I did not fall
that day, because I did. But after eight long weeks
of nothing but sand in my face, I was on top of the
world. I persevered. It was not going to be just a phase.
No matter what race: Black, White, Asian, Hispanic
or any other race, people living in East LA do not become
surfers. But here at the Heras residence, you do find
the rarity. I have discovered who I am. I am courageous,
unique and at times I am not always going in the same
direction as everyone around me. But this is alright.
Sometimes reacting unlike anyone else leads to success.
No one tells me I have to play soccer, I have to tag
on walls or even own a lowrider bike. My family does
not pressure me to get a job right out of high school
or go to community college part time. Just because so
many here do, that does not mean I have to do it too.
Looking back, the decision to surf instead of play soccer
has made me a more versatile person. It made me love
life, it made me stop and think and be thankful for
everything around me. I feel that if my decision to
surf did this for me, then other decisions, like my
decision to pursue the highest level of education, will
be even better. This proves that being a little bit
on one's unique side can sometimes be the best.
There was a time in my life when I did not know who
I was but as a result of surfing I now know who I really
am. I also know that surfing will not just be a small
chapter in my life but the recurring theme that holds
the story of my life together. I am not a "wannabe."
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Jacqueline
Ou
Lexington, Massachusetts
Jacqueline is thankful for her junior high math
tutor. Mr. Chase helped her build the foundation for
impressive achievements. In addition to the math honors
she describes in her essay, she was a member of the
USA Today All-USA Academic First Team, a Siemens Advanced
Placement Scholar for being the highest scoring female
junior in New England on the math and science AP exams
and a semifinalist in the Intel Science Talent Search.
At Lexington High School, Jacqueline led a student-directed
a capella group and a traditional Chinese dance troupe,
edited for the newspaper and won first place in the
state for her National History Day paper.
Polyhedra
Duke University
In the back of my dresser sits a set of old, beaten-up
plastic polyhedra lying dusty and unused. I haven't
touched them for years, since the time in sixth grade
when I filled the pyramid, sphere and cone with dyed
water to compare their volumes and spilled water all
over the kitchen chairs. I spent forever cleaning the
stains out of those white chairs! I had to stick my
polyhedra into storage after that, because Mom banned
me from ever mixing polyhedra, food dye and kitchen
chairs again in my entire life, or at least while I
was still living under her roof.
One afternoon a few weeks ago, soon after learning
about the death of my friend and math tutor, Mr. Chase,
I suddenly get an impulse to dig the polyhedra out of
their hiding spot. I finger the cracked plastic container
and lift the hexagonal prism, once my favorite polyhedron,
out of the box. Holding the chipped prism in my hands,
in a moment's time I am taken back to bits and pieces
of the afternoons when Mr. Chase and I explored polyhedra
together. The flashbacks of all the time I spent with
Mr. Chase, memories that I have long since neglected
and almost forgotten, flood my mind. Within each passing
frame, I feel, see, hear the images fall bluntly.
It is a fall afternoon after school, and I'm lying
stomach-down, legs dangling in the air and chin propped
up by my hands, on the front entrance bench of Clarke
Middle School. I am absorbed in my sixth-grade factoring
homework while waiting for Mr. Chase to come. I have
never met him, and truthfully, I'm a little dubious
of this random man volunteering to teach me math on
his own time. But when he comes in carrying his work
briefcase and greets me with a serious, quiet expression,
I feel a little more comfortable. We end up sitting
in a small teacher's room talking about what I like
and what he likes about math for the rest of the afternoon.
Going home, I decide that maybe this won't be another
restless math class filled with boring plug-and-chug
problems. I like Mr. Chase, and I like talking about
math with him.
Now Mr. Chase and I are in the same cramped teacher's
room at the middle school on a dismal, rainy January
afternoon. I'm at that little chalkboard (I wonder if
it's still there?), scrawling numbers all over the place
and he's sitting in a plastic chair too small for him.
Only an eighth grader and just learning the complexities
of math problem solving, I can't see the pattern in
the numbers he's reading to me from a number theory
book lying in his lap. He's smiling ever so slightly
while watching me become frustrated. It takes us more
than 30 minutes, but we reason the answer out together,
slowly. By the time we finish, I'm excited, he's excited
and we are pondering possible extensions of the pattern.
I understand the whole proof!
I'm in high school now, freshman year. I've just blown
into the room, a little late, and I plop into a seat
front row center. Mr. Chase, at the whiteboard, is already
explaining the math club's activity for the afternoon.
Five minutes later, everyone else is busy puttering
around with the materials, but Mr. Chase sits down with
me and guides me through the exploration activity. I
cut out the brightly colored tetrahedrons, octahedrons
and dodecahedrons he has prepared ahead of time, and
he directs me with questions about the number of edges,
vertices and faces of each polyhedron. He leads me to
conjecture a relationship between these three polyhedral
characteristics, also known in texts as Euler's Theorem.
When I look up momentarily, I see his smile the
special one I rarely glimpse because he knows
that I'm on the verge of making my conjecture.
A few months later, I'm at home, sitting on my bed,
calling Mr. Chase. "Hello? Is Mr. Chase there?" A pause.
"Hello?" His soft-spoken, scratchy, familiar voice comes
on the line. I think I'm squealing by this point. "Guess
what! I made the AIME!!" All our afternoons of hard
work designing the best scoring strategies and exploring
math problems has paid off, as I have qualified for
the second level national math exam, the AIME. Chatting
with him on the phone, I am excited to share the good
news because we have reached our goal together.
A jolt. The moment has passed. Back in real time, I
am stunned by the news of Mr. Chase's death. I am 17
years old, but this is the first time a person whom
I knew well has passed away. Only thinking back now
do I stop and fully appreciate the impact he made on
my life. Only after he is gone do I realize that I,
as well as so many other young mathematicians, have
lost a great source of inspiration. I regret all those
times in the past years that I thought of calling him
to tell him about my latest mathematical endeavor but
never quite got around to it. I wish I had called Mr.
Chase to tell him about qualifying for the USAMO my
junior year, the most prestigious national math exam,
or making the elite 15-member state ARML team that took
second place nationally. I want to thank him now for
taking the time out of his busy work schedule to tutor
me one-on-one in middle school and tell him that he
was the person who first sparked my love for mathematics.
In some way, though, I hope he knew how much he touched
my life.
While I set the plastic polyhedra back into their dusty
spot behind the dresser, I do not leave the memory of
Mr. Chase hidden there with them as I once did a few
years ago. Although I go on with my life, Mr. Chase
is there. I reflect on Mr. Chase's generosity, gentleness,
passion for math. I talk to my dad, math team coach
and his other tutees about all the good conversations
we had with him, joking around and thinking about math.
I may have lost contact with Mr. Chase over the years,
but playing with my old polyhedra set again freshly
etched our relationship back into my mind, and his passing
away has altered my formerly untouched perspective on
life and death. As so aptly put to me by a friend during
a recent conversation, "Welcome to life, Jackie."
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Emanuel Pleitez
El Sereno, California
In his essay, Emanuel appreciates the view from the
top of a hill, where he goes to exercise and think.
He has had a lot to balance in his life. At Woodrow
Wilson High School, he was the captain of five varsity
athletic teams and earned 19 varsity letters. A first-generation
college student, he was raised by his single mother,
an immigrant from Mexico. His efforts have resulted
in him not only getting into his dream college but also
winning almost $30,000 in merit-based scholarships.
Emanuel hopes to enter politics or return to teach at
his high school.
My Hill
Stanford University
I am pumping my arms, trying to keep my legs moving.
I feel lightheaded and frail needing to catch my breath,
but I am only half the way up. I will not stop. I will
keep going and going until I reach the top. These are
some of the feelings I get as I am running up my hill.
The community of El Sereno, which I live in, is full
of hills. The biggest one with the antennae on top is
"my hill." I use it to work out, to reflect upon things
and just to be alone. As I am running up my hill, I
remember how hard my mom has worked all her life for
my sister and me. I remember playing basketball as a
fifth grader amongst teenagers and grown men, learning
to believe in myself and to stay on the right path.
When I reach the top I look around and appreciate the
beauty, tradition and all the hard workers of my community.
I realize that I am part of it. I must contribute to
the tradition and give back.
Sometimes I feel that I am not in tip-top shape, but
I know I must be to play all my sports. At these times
I say to myself, "Let's hit the hill." I have to work
the hardest. That is just how I am. This comes from
my mom. I always think of her when I am running my hill.
She is the hardest worker I know. I remember the times
we got off the bus at 10 o'clock at night coming from
downtown LA after a full day of shopping for the things
my mom sold throughout the week to support us. We would
still have to walk about a mile as my mom carried my
little sister and a bag in one arm and held me by the
other hand while I carried another bag. Besides earning
a living, my mom went to school to learn English. She
has gone to school for as long as my sister and I to
try to earn her high school diploma. Even though it
has been a tough road, she has never given up. I take
that feeling with me going up my hill and in life.
Another reflection I have when I am on my hill is of
when I was a fifth grader playing basketball every day
at my elementary school until it was too dark to see
anything. All the older guys would come and play too.
They tossed me around, but it made me tough. I will
not be afraid of anything after playing with them. It
was a great challenge, and I love challenges. They taught
me to believe in myself and never let anything put me
down. They were not the greatest of role models as they
did drugs and basically did not have a future, but they
always talked to me as if I was their little boy. I
could have ended up like them as other childhood friends
have, but I just took the advice and stayed on the right
path. One guy told me, "Keep on practicing and one day
you can make it to the NBA." I probably will not be
a professional basketball player, but just the belief
that they had and actually still have in me has given
me the boost to always excel. Being on my hill helps
me reflect upon what has shaped me in my community.
On top of my hill I can see all of El Sereno on one
side and the rest of Los Angeles on the other. I love
to look at my community, especially my high school.
My high school represents the place in which I live.
It represents the whole community, as it holds our future.
It also holds our past, as many of our teachers are
Wilson alumni. It is a great tradition at our school
that allows our teachers to teach with more passion
since they are back to where they started. They really
want to help our youth and that is what makes the place
where I live special. It has shaped me to look at life
as a mission to help people succeed. It has given me
a positive outlook that has motivated me to give back
to my community as much as I can as I get older.
My hill gives me my motivation, lets me reflect on
my past and lets me see the future. It is a long journey
in life as it is a long run up the hill. My hill starts
off pretty easy, although I cannot see how far it is
or where exactly I am headed because of the tall grass.
Eventually though, I see the top and what path I have
to take to get there, but I realize I still have a long
way to go. I face obstacles and doubts, but I do not
let them stop me. I am determined. When I get to the
top, always knowing that I will, I feel unstoppable.
I know the hard work will pay off.
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